With Mayo Clinic behavioral counselor Jennifer A. Kern, M.S., C.T.T.S.

Any cartoon lovers out there? It may have been a while since you last watched them, but do you remember what sometimes happened when the main character was faced with a dilemma? All of a sudden there would be a "poof" over each shoulder — an angel would appear hovering on one side while a devil would be perched on the other, each arguing their case. The character would listen to the angel and agree, then listen to the devil and see his point as well — neither of which resolved the character's problem. That's a great visual depiction of something many tobacco users experience, called ambivalence.

Ambivalence is a state of internal conflict — different parts of the self are battling with each other about what they want and what is important. However, these things may not be compatible with each other; satisfying both what you desire and what you value cannot necessarily be accomplished from one single choice or action.

Ambivalence acts as a sort of immobilizer, keeping us frozen in a given state. We can see the pros and the cons of each choice, but cannot seem to take any action in one direction or the other. I think that most smokers live in this place for a long time, wrestling between what they enjoy about smoking and the intellectual knowledge regarding the consequences of continuing to use tobacco products.

When looking at any kind of lifestyle change, it is important to resolve the ambivalence that is an inevitable part of the journey. One way to start is by making a list of the good things as well as the not-so-good things of both smoking and of quitting. For example, a lot of people feel like smoking helps them relax, but they do not like the smell. To the same effect, they want to quit so they can feel better, but they are concerned about withdrawal.

Creating your own list like this can help you get in touch with where you are along the continuum of change. It'll help you identify how ready you are to start making new and different choices. Going through this process can bring to light any underlying issues you may need to address in order to move forward with stopping tobacco use.

Remember, it's normal to have ambivalence when you consider quitting smoking. Taking time to clearly identify how you feel about each course of action is one way you can work through ambivalence in order to resolve your dilemma and start moving forward in the direction you most want to go. What are some ways you've done this in other areas of your life?

Add to del.icio.us Digg This Add to Technorati Stumble It!

COMMENTS PAGE

Latest entries